everything that goes wrong is my fault
i\'m such an idiot
i\'m such a failure

you keep on making asumptions that are\'nt true
instead of encouraging me
you keep on pulling me down into the pits
you keep on discouraging me
in every single thing i undertake

is it part of your ploy?
to destroy me bit by bit?
too bad you\'ll never see me fall apart

you\'ve made me so fragile that
every single word said
against me outside makes me cry

i\'m forced to hide behind a mask
to let people see another me
i have to play the pretend game in school

\'put up a fake smile and sing yippe i \'love\' life\'
so as to escape counselling
i hate it when people ask me about my \'family\'
because i always feel like saying \'i don\'t have one!\'

what i choose to do about my life
is of no concern to you
all your bitter words are going to spur me on
i will last on my own
i promise you,i will
because its me and my life
i\'m NOT living your life
i wanna be what i wanna be
i don\'t wanna be what you want me to be

very often,i feel that i\'m an outsider in my own family
sometimes,even an adopted child
you said you loved me
but its just words,with no action
you don\'t show it at all
all you show is jealousy and hatred

sometimes i feel that everyone is so hostile to me
i feel that i\'m ugly and useless
even when you,my \'parents\',don\'t trust me
put your faith in me
it hurts a lot

and ohh would you care
if i were to die tomorrow
i bet you won\'t
it\'ll make no difference
afterall,did\'nt you say i was a mistake?

i can even forsee that smirk on your face
i came in this world as an unknown person
and would leave this earth in that manner too
i\'ve made no impact on anyone\'s life
i\'d be happy even if i managed to make an ant live longer
by not stepping on it

but ohh well
the truth is that
i\'m a lonely and lost soul
still wondering and finding
a place to reside

i\'m starving mom,dad
not for food
but for love

i don\'t know what it feels like to be loved anymore.